THERE
IS NO GREETING RECORDED FOR THIS CALL-PROCESSING MAILBOX
This fee is non-refundable. Time to radiate the beef.
No, you just hit the steer on the
head with a sledge,
It's not like shooting a person in
the brain.
Okay, everybody, think
scientifically, brains under-utilized,
And welcome to Consensus
Reality--our motto is: You Get Fucked
Over.
Maybe Geek-chic, but there is no
such thing as University Heights.
How compromised are you prepared
to get? Our fearless leader begins:
I'm from the business end and
today's topic is worker
productivity and drugs. Coffee is good, amphetamines
are good, Columbian workers work
sixteen-hour days
with no food on coca leaves. Doctors call ephedrine an
antihistamine, but it's really
speed. Any questions?
As you can see, our headless
honcho is fully assholistic.
Keeps his eyes on the bull, pays
his dues to the kleptocracy.
When he's finished with you, you
won't feel like you've been dicked.
You've been Richarded (talk about
sustainable growth).
The three o'clock lecture is
"Progress: an Unbroken Line
From the Wheel to the Catalytic
Converter and Beyond."
Modern Primitives may hang from
meathooks in your kitchen,
But you'll be doing this job till
they wheel you into the oven.
Think of your skill-set, skin the
hide that speeds you peel it off one easy
Demotion. With enforceable legislation, solid
infrastructure, and certification,
We have lift off: convene your own conference. Some stake in the sizzle.
By then your life will resemble
the mall's tuxedo rental store.
Don't worry about your mental
health. There is no such thing.
All employees are henceforth required
to speak in palindromes.
And Dad (el beef) kill non-sllik,
feeble Dad-DNA.
--David Fox
